May 31, 2005 :: Redesign!

I've redesigned the look of my blog. I finally shook off the shackles of the old modified blogger template and made one from scratch.

Lots and lots of blood sweat and tears went into getting broken ass Internet Exploder to render the semi-transparent PNGs correctly. IE still doesn't render dotted lines correctly. I hate Microsoft right now.

Fortunately, this design will accomodate me switching out the background image from time to time, without disturbing the other elements. Hopefully this will help me keep the page somewhat fresh.

Your comments are appreciated!

posted by Rainmayun at 7:37 PM -

May 29, 2005 :: The neutral zone

This is the part I hate about dating. I've been out with this particular woman four times now, and each time I'm left with the same impression. On the one hand, she approached me in the beginning. She's articulate, down to earth, a lot of fun to talk to. She definitely has a shy side, although she seems to be opening up to me. She is also almost completely lacking in affection. It is almost as if, for her, even a hug is an afterthought. Her body language is totally non-responsive whenever I make physical contact with her. She doesn't push me away, she doesn't pull me closer, she just sort of does.... nothing.

It is possible that I am in the dreaded "friend zone" and I don't know it yet, although it would be somewhat disingenuous of her to keep accepting my invitations to do things (which she has) on my dime (which it has been) if she only intends to be friends with me. It is also possible that she really does like me, and that, for whatever reason, she's not very emotionally expressive or available. I suppose I have a few options:

1) Ask her directly what the hell is up.
This is the sort of conversation women usually bring up, to men's dismay. "Where is this going?" Although I think directness is a virtue, I don't think it's a good move here. For one, a lot about whether dating is enjoyable depends on the "vibe", and jarring directness has a way of disturbing that. The very act of asking might turn her off.

2) Ask her in indirect and semi-probing ways what the hell is up.
Instead of bringing it up directly, I can beat around the bush, hopefully in a way that she either won't notice or, if she does notice, won't provoke hostile reject from her the way option 1 might. "Do you consider yourself to be an affectionate person?" Sure, her answers are likely to be dodgy and evasive no matter which position she's coming from, but it might still give me enough information to figure out where I stand.

3) Don't ask anything, but keep going out with her and observing her.
I am not known for my patience in dating (reference the three date rule, which I will explain in more detail later). If I continue to take her out, and I find out seven dates later that I am in the "friend zone", I will feel cheated out of my time, energy and hard-earned dollars. Suffice it to say this isn't my usual M.O., but the older I get, the more patient I am willing to be with women whom I really like.

4) Kick her to the curb.
This would certainly eliminate the frustration in my life, although it would be abrupt, and I don't meet women of her caliber very often. Or, as a somewhat less harsh alternative, put her in my friend zone. That means I'd stop expecting anything more than friendship from her, and I'd stop treating her (in both senses of the word) as a potential. Everybody pays her own fare on the buddy bus.

One way or another, though, I'm not going to go on any more dates like the one I just had, where the ending leaves me wholly unsettled and unsatisfied.

posted by Rainmayun at 3:31 PM -

May 24, 2005 :: Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

I've been called out. Here's my halfhearted attempt at my favorite things, in no particular order:

• The color blue. Anything blue. I must have 1000 blue shirts.
• Mediterranean food, especially Lebanese food. And Mexican food.
• Actually, I like eating, period.
• Live music, especially jazz.
• Traveling to new places and strange lands.
• Driving quickly (and that's not the same as driving fast).
• Live sporting events.
• Solving problems.
• Laying in the bosom of a voluptuous woman.
• A really good nonfiction book.

posted by Rainmayun at 3:29 PM -

May 19, 2005 :: Family review time

I'm in Seattle this week for a family wedding. Since my family is so spread out, and they (mostly) live so far away from me, I don't get to see a lot of them too often. Occasions like weddings provide opportunities for diasporate families like mine to get back together. They also provide opportunities for the older generation to check on the younger ones and see how they are doing.

As it happens, both of my brothers (on this side) are bringing their respective girlfriends to this wedding. This came as a surprise to me and everyone else, mostly because they didn't announce this until the last minute, and because both of them have these on-off relationships and aren't anywhere near getting married. Aside from the fact that both girlfriends are non-black (a not uncommon trend in my family), the elders will be delighted to see them. Of course, that will shine a glaring spotlight on me, because I didn't bring anyone.

Not for a shortage of people wanting to go, mind you, although I think almost all of those women just want to see Seattle and have little interest in my family. But the last time I let my mother meet a girlfriend at a wedding, it was a bit of a disaster. It was also completely beyond my control. Suffice it to say that we broke up a week later (although not because of anything that happened at the wedding) and my mother told me not to introduce her to anybody else unless she was staying around for the long haul. And since my mother hadn't met any other girlfriends since high school, I guess she means it. So, no, I didn't bring anybody home, and I'm not going to for some time to come.

posted by Rainmayun at 12:57 PM -

May 16, 2005 :: Why Americans are fat

Click the images to expand (as if it needs to be any bigger!)

posted by Rainmayun at 4:29 PM -

May 12, 2005 :: Field of broken dreams

On Tuesday, I had a company softball game. This was our first game of the season. I played on last year's team, to some effect. Not horrible, not great. Our team was an expansion team that year, and although we struggled, it was enjoyable and fun.

This year, I suck.

For some reason, turning 30 had ill effect on what little athletic ability I had. I am now, without much doubt, the worst player on my team who isn't a girl, and there is even a girl better than me. Consequently, although the league is supposed to be about fun, the competitive instincts of our team and our manager, have led them to give me as little playing time as possible while still being "fair" (whatever "fair" means). I was stuck in right field for 3 innings, where I never saw a ball, and I only went to the plate once and struck out on two pitches. I even dragged myself to the gym afterwards, because that didn't even come close to being a workout.

Without practice (which we don't have) and playing time (which I won't get), I won't improve. I tried steroids (corticosteroids, but what's the difference?) to no avail. So I've considered dropping off the team. I don't like being a quitter, but I'm not sure there is anything else to do.

Then again, I can always hope that other players quit or get hurt and they have to play me. But who has that kind of patience?

posted by Rainmayun at 11:22 AM -

May 02, 2005 :: David vs Goliath

I drove down to the Georgetown Harbor last night for a dinner date at Tony and Joe's. It's a fairly decent seafood restaurant right on the Potomac river, and the Harbor area is popular on Sunday evenings. When I got there, I decided to park in the surface parking lot by the river.

There was a huge line of cars waiting to exit the parking lot... maybe 20 or 30 in total, probably all from a movie across the street that had recently let out. No line headed in, though, so I pulled into the driveway for the parking lot.

This particular lot is not well-organized. There are 3 rows of parking, but not many passages between them, and the first row was packed and a stream of cars turning across my lane into the exit lane blocked my passage. I waited as my headlights shone directly into the obviously embarassed and slightly guilty face of the woman driving the car blocking my way. As the exit lane shuffled forward, she inched out of the way.

Now the way was clear, so I prepared to go past the blockade to the back of the lot, where I could navigate. Behind that woman, though, was an H2 Hummer. He started to block the lane, and I thought, what an asshole! But he stopped, presumably, I thought, because he just discovered my presence. Being in a black car, low to the ground, after dark probably didn't help. But I did have my headlights on, so that's really no excuse. So when he hesitated, I pulled forward. He also pulled forward, and ran his tire up on my front bumper.

At this point I'm thinking.... WTF?!? I know this fool (who we've already determined to be an asshole) didn't just try to punk me and hit my car in the process! I sat there for a moment, before getting out to establish damage. He also got out of his monstrous battle tank to look.

Thankfully, the tire did no apparent damage, I guess because the weight of the vehicle hadn't been pressed upon my bumper. He apologized and let me pass. I'm still undecided as to whether he is an asshole or he really did not see my car, about 5 feet away from his own.

posted by Rainmayun at 3:55 PM -