October 06, 2005 :: Joke of the day

Received in the mail today:

You've been prescreened
for a mortgage of up to
$80,000*
with no down payment!
Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx

$80,000, huh? Hmm, let's see what I can get for that around here. So I did a search on ziprealty.com to see what I could find, based on my zip code. Ooh, a property on stately Elm Street NE, not far from where I live! OK, so its $89,000, but I am sure I can come up with $9,000 on my own. Then I read a little bit more... 6033 square feet. Wow, that's huge... what am I getting, a warehouse? Then I read a little bit more.... oh, the LOT is 6,033 square feet. That's a little less than 1/7 of an acre... I've lived on less, so still doable.

But then there's a catch. There's always a catch.

There is no house on this property. It's just an empty lot. Dirt, grass, weeds, and if I'm lucky, some deeply buried archaeological artifact that will pay off the mortgage. Or, if I'm not so lucky, a not-so-deeply buried dead body.

Guess the joke is on me.

Oh yeah, the asterisk:

* Actual loan amount may be higher or lower than stated depending on documented income, debt, and property value. The maximum loan amount cannot exceed the lesser of a total debt-to-income ratio of 40% or 359,600; ratio will be calculated to include proposed monthly mortgage payment.

Thanks, Wells Fargo!

posted by Rainmayun at 4:19 PM -

---