Rain falls on the just and the unjust.: The survey we really want to see

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January 17, 2005 :: The survey we really want to see

I know lots of you have seen these 20 questions-style surveys that have been circulating via email for what seems like forever. They always have the same sort of aimless questions (what's your favorite pudding flavor?) that none of us really care about. So here's my attempt to start another email that gains a life of its own and circulates forever.

What time did you get to work?
What time do you plan to leave work?
How many times have you been fired (and "layoffs" count)?
What is the one food you love that disgusts others?
Did O.J do it?
Who initiated your most recent break-up?
Do you wash your hands every time you use the bathroom?
What is the one thing you wish you could do but never had the balls?
What do you do when you are alone in your car (or on the train/bus/etc)?
Do you think of Oprah as (A) genius, (B) fat, or (C) inescapable?
How many people have you dated in secret (i.e. would under no circumstances allow your close friends to see you two together)?
How many people have you dated that you met online? (for comparison's sake)
Do you consider musical ring-tones to be (A) a great way to personalize your phone, or (B) justifiable homicide?
How many times a week do you receive email from friends at work that would get you fired, or at least a serious reprimand, if actually read by a superior?
Should people you don't like (now) or did not enjoy qualify for the list or number of "people you have slept with"?
Have you ever dated/slept with a coworker?
Do you look in other people's medicine cabinets?
What one thing that random people do would you criminalize?
Do you (A) love your job! it's great! (B) like some aspects of your job, but others are stressful, (C) dream of quitting and moving to Tahiti, (D) dream of running up in there with an AK-47 and blowing everybody to shreds?
How much of The Man's time did you just spend on this?

Now, with this, your friends can truly learn something about you that they might not have known before.