January 13, 2006 :: Trends to end in 2006

OK, I know this will sound rant-ish, but there are some things I just have to point out. Some trends are older than others, and all of them are overdue for departure. First up...

Kanye West-inspired preppie look
Brothas, you do not look cool in pink and baby blue sweaters and Izods with candy pink green and white stripes. I'm glad you're cool in your sexuality and all, and I'm glad something replaced the thug motif, but this was definitely not a winning choice. 1985 called, they want their catalog models back. But I specifically have to call out...

Bib-length ties
This is a very recent trend, and I hope it's very short-lived. Nothing looks goofier to me than a big man with a decent blue dress shirt and a freakin' tartan plaid tie that's about 8 inches long. Looks like he raided his son's sock drawer for a clip-on in a pinch. Not attractive at all.

Thugtastic anything
I've been saying for years, I can't wait for the thug mentality to go out of style. Why it was ever considered appealing to be raggedy, prone to violence, etc., and why anything OTHER than that was considered "thuggish" is beyond me. It's 2006, and Nelly has a song out about gold fronts. If you can find me a woman, here in 2006, who still thinks putting transition metals over one's teeth is attractive and appealing, show her to me so we can submit her ass to the Smithsonian. But Nelly is just grasping at the desperate end of hip-hop, which is on life support, which leads me to...

"Trendy" clubs playing old music
I actually upset a friend of mine last night. We were out, at one of these so-called "trendy"/"hot" clubs, and I pointed out that most of the music they were playing was twelve damn years old!!! At least, all the good stuff was. Don't get me wrong, I like the old Tupac and Junior Mafia and Jay-Z stuff as much as anybody... but if they keep this up, those clubs will just be black versions of Polly Esther. It's not their fault though... the stuff that's coming out nowadays sounds wacker than ever. I'm sorry, Jermaine Dupri, I can't get with your nouveau retro sound... back in 1984 it was cool to rap over an 808 and a Casiotone keyboard, because that's all they had, but now it just sounds derivative and unimaginative. Hip-hop is all but dead, waiting for the next thing to kick out the cord on the iron lung it's on. And since black folks have a long, distinguished history of inventing creative new genres of music, I can't wait to see what's next.

The housing bubble
I know a lot of you probably have bet on continued appreciation in home values. Sorry to say, not only is it not going to happen, it's a good thing that it's not going to happen. Probably half of the job growth that's constantly cited as support for rising home values is actually related to the real estate industry itself... agents, brokers, appraisers, construction, remodeling, etc.; that's not exactly a good trend. The fact is, the boom in home values is a direct effect of the ridiculously cheap credit and low standards that have prevailed in the last few years, and not due to any strong fundamentals in the market itself. It's not good for an economy in general to have any key asset class inflate in value far above wages, which as we all know are flat and have been for the past five years. This can only end badly... may God have mercy on all of you with overextended ARMs that reset soon.

Crack smoking politicians in DC
OK, I know it's been pretty much the same politician for the last 15 years. Still, the fact that Marion Barry tested positive yet again for cocaine... but what really makes me shake my head is that these people will still keep electing him. I don't care how down for the cause he is, he can't be an effective, respected leader if he's high off the pipe. Retire, Mr. Former Mayor, and hit rehab... hit rehab hard, like you hit the pipe.

Feel free to post your own trends that should end in the comments section.

posted by Rainmayun at 10:29 AM -