April 20, 2006 :: Overload

I think I have finally found my breaking point. Between my car issues, school issues, family issues, job & career issues, personal issues, I'm a hot mess. Let me see if I can sort it all out.

The car: My beloved Prelude is in the shop, after my first at-fault accident... I fought a battle with the curb and lost. It was like Saddam's Republican Guard vs the U.S. 101st Airborne... it was a massacre. I broke the wheel, the axle, most of the steering assembly on that side, and my perfect record of no at-fault accidents. Car's been in the shop for two weeks now.. hopefully I get it back tomorrow. My insurance company pays for a loaner, which turned out to be a Honda Civic 4 door sedan. Suffice it to say, that car has absolutely zero social value... in fact, it turns out to be negative, I think. Whereas before, when I pulled up next to a pretty lady in another car, I might get a couple of glances, a stare, a wink, whatever. In the Civic, I get exactly half a glance, nothing more. I can't wait to be rid of it.

School: As some of you know, I'm working on my MBA at night. I take classes two nights a week. As demands on my time across the board have grown, I have been shirking and slacking on school stuff. Ordinarly, with individual assignments, I could BS and fudge and pull my way out... but these are team assignments, and team members do not show mercy the way professors do. I am sure my peer evaluations for this assignment due this week will suck. Oh well, we will all have to get over it.

Family: I have a family reunion coming up, as I mentioned before. It's my mom's side, and we haven't had one in 25 years, so there will be lots of catching up. I had booked my flight to leave today, and in fact I was going to leave today, but then I called my mom to find out why my brother (with whom I was sharing a hotel room) hadn't called me back in two days, and I discovered that the reunion is NEXT week. Suffice it to say, I'm glad I didn't get on the plane. With a little maneuvering with the customer service rep from AmericaWest.com, I was able to secure flights next week without any increase in fare, although they did charge me $100 to change the ticket. I feel like a complete idiot, but at least so far the only people that know is my mother, my manager & coworkers at work, and my teammates from class... ok that's pretty much everyone. Never mind all the issues I talked about in the last post that are still around.

Job & career: I don't want to say too much here, but I will say this: I was looking. Started looking in January. It is now April, and I am just now getting an offer. After all this effort with this firm, I think I have changed my mind... I no longer want to leave. I feel almost guilty about having gone this far through the process, but then, if they had made me an offer a month ago, I probably would have taken it. and now I'm not.

Also, I've been working on a proposal effort here at work. The way government contracting works, the government puts out a request for bids on a proposed statement of work, and then all the companies interested in competing for the work prepare proposals. These are massive documents, at least ours are... usually over 100 pages. They are also relatively short turnarounds, and they are the main element of work that escapes "core hours". So to sum that up, I've been under tremendous pressure to produce writing on a bunch of stuff I didn't really know and had to figure out, and I am forced to write at night and on the weekends. It sucks, but it's good for career development.

Personal issues: You know what, I don't think I even want to go here. But I'll just let you know I have some.

You know how when your blood pressure goes through the roof, you can feel it in your body? That's how I feel today. But since I've rebooked the ticket, and started trying to smooth things over with my classmates (since I'll actually be around for class tonight), I am starting to feel a little better. Maybe I even have time to grab some lunch before this 2pm meeting.

posted by Rainmayun at 12:43 PM -